I got married, not cancer.

Let me start by saying I am not at all trying to make a joke at the expense of cancer. Cancer is awful and devastating and that's exactly the meaning I want from my title. Marriage should be the complete opposite, exciting and rewarding! When I got engaged at the young age of 21 I was excited to share the news but often was shocked by people's response. I was working in a restaurant at the time and as soon as my ring was spotted people would start throwing things around like "you're going to hate each other in a year" "don't do it, it's a mistake" or my favorite "you're too young" like my life would be wasted by marrying the love of my life! People always thought if they had a nasty divorce then that was the result of every marriage. I'm not saying I live in a fairy tale marriage or that I think I'm wiser than a 30 year marriage. I am only saying that I expect the best out of my marriage! I love when Michael says things like "when I retire me and you are..." I am Michael's future and he is mine! I often felt like telling people about my proposal was dreaded news as if I was telling them I had cancer. Marriage to me is looked down upon, it lacks respect, we expect husbands to complain about their nagging wife and wives to complain about their lazy husband who won't get up and take the trash out! I am not claiming that Michael takes the trash out every time I ask or that I don't nag him, because that is far from the truth I am just saying maybe I should step back and look at the fact that he has willingly worked a 80 week because he wants me and our child to be taken care of and wants me to be able to do what my dream is, to be home with my child! I am forever grateful to him! The moment I step back and look at Michael like he is a disease or cancer is the moment we start to shut down, it will take over our marriage and it will spread like a cancer taking over our essential "organs"! Our commutation, love, trust and faithfulness! We constantly have to work on these things, not because they are a problem but because we don't want them to be a problem. We both have to continuously work on finding the good and not letting all the bad seem bigger than the good. I now hold us to a different standard because of WB, me and Michael are his core and part of his happiness will come from our happiness as his parents. For months now I have longed to be soft spoken and patient with Michael as well as setting the path for the kind of mother I long to be, I can't tell you how I pray and long for this and how disappointed I feel in myself when I get inpatient or loud, and I know my family would probably be like you're trying to work on what!?! But in all honesty it is on my heart most days, why is it so hard to change our ways!? but anyways call me a weirdo but I already find myself praying for the woman Braylon will marry and I know and hope I will set an example of and to the woman he will marry. This is a lot of pressure, motherhood is a lot of pressure:) it is a lot of work, and I hope I haven't lost you, I just hope to help you step back and appreciate the good before the bad eats away at you or your marriage. I hope to help you realize the example you are to your children or even to others, as this want to be soft spoken and patient comes from dear friends I grew up around. I realize some marriages result in divorce, sometimes for reasons that can't be helped and I'm not condemning anyone, and I hate when people say you don't understand, because that is a given, you most likely will never be married to my husband and I will never be married to yours, so it's pointless to say you don't understand because we all know we will never understand someone's pain or happiness, because we will never be them, one marriage will never be the same as another. All I'm trying to say is stay positive in other people's marriages even if yours sucked or sucks and if you have a good marriage stay positive for your fellow marrieds even if you haven't had to experience what they have, and I'm preaching to myself here, I know I haven't  been as supportive or loving as i could to others, one of those changes I'm  TRYING to work on! Lastly here are a few things that I think have made a huge difference in our marriage, we have never stay away from each under the circumstance of anger and we have never not slept in the same bed, and we never bring something from yesterday into today, for 545 days with the exception of few vacations apart, Michael has kissed me every morning;)  I don't think we have it figured out by any means but I know we both want to be married. I know that Michael wanted me to be his wife and I know that he loves me and our child more than anything! I refuse to let the bad ever overtake the good! I have too many blessings to be unhappy and Michael and his family is one of my  biggest blessings, after all Michael did help me make the most beautiful baby ever! Best wishes,  no matter the age of your marriage! 

Blessed by a book.

The word plenty means "more than enough". When I think of this word two things come to mind, one is a dream I had a few weeks ago and the other is something my dad use to say to us as children. When out and about  we would beg to go out to eat and my father would say there is plenty at the house to eat. As a child this was so disappointing and it seemed so boring to eat at home, but now as an adult I love to run by my mamas to see what she has cooking! So what significant meaning does this have, as children we only see what we want not what we have. As an adult I am learning to appreciate what I have, a family, a home and food to eat. If God never blesses me with another thing, I have more than enough, I have plenty. But that's not the kind of God I serve, which brings me to my second point, my dream. Several weeks ago I was awoken around 3am to a dream I had about our house being full of books, I was so proud showing them all off, in my dream the walls in our house were full of bookcases full of books, even though we looked like hoarders, I was glowing with excitement about all the books. When I woke up, I laid between my "plenty" my sweet baby boy and my husband. This dream spoke to me unlike any dream I had ever had. I began to pray and ask God what he was trying to tell me and never before had I heard God so clearly. I was praying over Michael because I associated the books with him and for a while now he had been job searching. I prayed for favor, for contentment, I prayed for Michael's happiness. Then God put the word plenty on my heart. More than enough. God put a promise on my heart. The next morning I shared it with Michael, I told him about my dream, and it may sound silly, but every time I'm out shopping Michael asks for a new book and I always say we haven't the money. I rationalized the dream to mean God wanted Michael to have plenty of books, because he is that kind of God, a God that cares about our heart's desires. That  day Michael received a phone call for an interview which resulted in a new Job that is less than 3 miles from our home! This job offers us better benefits and supports our family with plenty. As soon as I am able, I am purchasing a bookcase:)