Friday, October 18, 2013

God's child

II had a very unfortunate event happen yesterday, I was keeping my nephews, when I found the front door wide open and the 2 year old no where to be found, though it was only moments before realizing, it felt like eternity. My heart sank and I ran out frantically calling out to God in fear that he had reached the road, which he had. I safely brought him back home and called my dad to pick up keyed deadbolts from Home Depot! I packed the boys up and drove to my moms, it was still early so she was sleeping, I went and crawled in bed with her and began to cry, I felt like I had let my sister down, let my nephew down and let myself down as a mother. I wasn't being careless and it was just a scary incident that could have happened to anyone! But I felt guilty that I let it happen! I ran other all of the bad things that could have happened, but didn't, all the things I could have done to prevent it but didn't. I just felt awful. I cried to my mom and told her how hard it was and how tired it can make you feel to have the responsibility of children, as if she doesn't know.  She told me that there were so many times when we were children that she had to get her knees and pray for God to help her because she couldn't do it alone, that she couldnt watch us ever second of every day. She has so many story's just like mine that she to had to call out to God, and not only over her own children, as she told me of a neighbor one time bringing her choking child to her door and her calling out to God to help her and he did! After talking to my mom it got me thinking, whenever praying over WB or talking to God more so, I always say God I know how much I love him and I can't express my love or even fathom the amount that I love him, and God loves him  even more than I do, he is Gods child and just like I would never want anything bad to happen to him, God doesn't either! My thoughts also led me here, right now I get the wonderful blessing of being with WB most hours of most days, but as he gets older I will have to let him go, I will have to let him go to football games on Friday night, I will have to let him go home with friends on Sunday afternoon, I will have to let him go to special things with cousins or grandparents and I will have to know that God will never leave him, even though I will not get to be with him, God will. Thirdly my thoughts brought me here, today has been a sad day for me, and I am not a sad person ever, but hard pressing things in my life had me down today, but I had to tell myself that I am Gods child also and he loves me unconditional and I know that my mama still prays for me like I pray for WB and God isn't going to leave me alone. The devil comes to kill, steal and destroy but I tell him right now he will not do that to my family! My joy comes in the morning, always! So I look at my beautiful husband and son and I know I am blessed and protected by a God that loves us and I know he will do the same for all of our family! 

No comments:

Post a Comment