He blesses us, for us to be blessed.

I write tonight with a heavy heart. A sad heart. A hurt heart. I write becuase I need an outlet from all the things I have running through my mind. I sometimes get mad at the vivid dreamer that I am because my dreams sometimes don't even allow me to rest from my worry. Yesterday was one of those days that was filled with things that you just wish you could avoid. The kind of days you just wish someone would ask you about your day so you could cry and tell them why you were upset. Yet yesterday was also one of those days that my thoughts didn't even makes sense. Something upset me, someone else's selfishness upset me, somethinng that doesn't even make a difference in my life, but yet made me furious that someone could be so simple minded. That out of all the things to be concerned with and this person is concerned with something so petty just because of want. It's hard to elaborate on the matter without saying point blank what upset me. So I will just leave it here because to be honest I still can't wrap my mind around the situation. Secondly I found out something very close to home, something again that I can't really talk about. It just wasn't a good day. I went to bed worried and I woke up worried. It sucks to worry and it also sucks to not know how something is going to turn out, but then today I was riding down the road which is often where I spend my time with God and I was just praying. My mom has said before that having a baby is spiritual and I don't know if having a baby made me appreciate the God that I serve or made me realize that I needed him more than ever or if it opened my heart to a whole other level of faith, but I feel God in a completely different way than I used to. I feel him and the peace that he gives. So today when I was driving and fretting over the issue at hand and praying I knew God was saying I didn't bring you here to abandon you, I didn't bless you to leave you behind, I will not forsake you and I will not leave you alone. I prayed these things at the exact spot that I didn't need God to leave me, he had put this on my heart months ago and he had provided that very need and I knew now he wasn't going to abandon my family there alone. He blessed us to be blessed not to be worried or afraid. Sometimes we have bad days but that's all that they are is bad days. God is the long run, He is the big picture and our provider, He is our God and I will worship him for everyday, even the bad ones because if I have something to worry about means that I have am blessed enough to have something in the first place. So tonight even though the devil wants to point an issue out to us, I go to sleep with peace because I know my God will take care of me and my family. I know that I won't have to worry because he will not leave us or forsake us.